Or something like that.

If you travel over to the CBC Book Club today you’ll notice a pretty fabulous contest that’s inspired by the mash-up trend mixing public domain books with the likes of zombies, vampires, androids, etc. Here’s an example that I created for the Book Club with a hat tip to Costas Halavrezos, Ben Boudreau and Eric Rountree for their help.

Oh, and the dachshunds. Let’s not forget the dachshunds.

[If you're ever in the market for non-Hallmark cards, check out the Etsy shop of this next guest. She makes seriously funny handmade cards right here in Halifax and ships around the world. A lovely person in real life and dachshund propagandist.]

Photo credit: Caneadea from Flickr

By Cheryl Cook

I am not a native Nova Scotian. Exactly. I wasn’t born here but that was, I believe, an accident. Not that I was an accident. My mother will attest to the forethought given my conception, though she mutters something about “the best laid plans.” I have difficulty thinking figuratively so I have never really worked out what she means by that.

I was born in Alberta which is unfortunate, as I really don’t like Alberta. A great deal of it is flat, and I find this find suspicious as well as unnerving. If I drive away from a city, I would like it to disappear gently over the rolling horizon. I would not like to turn around and see it there half an hour later, trailing me at a distance like some sort of nearly exhausted puppy. Shoo Edmonton! Shoo!

We didn’t live in Edmonton for long. My father was in the Air Force and one of the perks of the jobs is getting to uproot your wailing children and vaguely resentful spouse every few years so you can plop them down in a new town where they get to (very quickly) adjust to a new set of rules. On the face of it, there would seem to be few perks to this, but I can say that I became a quick study. I would do what was needed to get a little playground cred, be it a kick in the slats to a bully boy, or even a quick game of doctor. Whatever it took, I wasn’t proud. By the way, I would like some clarification on whether an optometrist is an actual ‘doctor’. Anyone who knows, give me a bell, will you?

Eventually we rolled into Nova Scotia, the final stop. It was a difficult move, out in the county among kids who had mostly lived with each other their whole lives, like fish in a small bowl, swapping boyfriends and best friends from this reduced pool. A harder nut to crack than towns where other kids’ fathers were in the military. But you adjust.

And as it happened, Nova Scotia had a bonus for us. My father was born in Yarmouth, his family having been there since the 1700’s. This meant that the kids who were from “no where, really” could finally lay some sort of tentative claim. Not that it held up under much scrutiny. It would take just one “Oh Yarmouth! Did you meet [insert name here, and it probably ends with Doucette or Cook]” to blow the cover. But it also meant that here in Nova Scotia we could answer the all important question “who’s yer father?” Having lineage means passing for native. No CFA label for me, thanks. I blend.

So we come back to my accidental status. Accidentally Albertan but deliberately, slyly, Nova Scotian. Why would someone choose to live a life of deception? Why not just come clean and go back to Alberta?

I will tell you why. In need of a new birth certificate (for reasons I will not go in to here but which I think you can guess involve my personal property being used to line the sock drawer of one Tom Selleck, star of 80’s tour de force TV show Magnum P.I., and who I am very, very confident has been stalking me now for some years) I went online to fill out some forms. Reluctantly I did this, for that slip of durable polymer material with more than 20 embedded security features would surely burn a hole in my fist, like a big red A of shame. I clicked the webform and a PDF opened up to the first page, full of helpful information for filling out this form. Helpful information in comic sans.

I smiled. I’m not one of them. I don’t belong there. I have settled on the east coast, by choice.

Cheryl Cook (a.k.a. @wryandginger) as lived in Nova Scotia for almost thirty years, give or take a few years out of the country, and works in medical research by day. She is arachnophobic. For your own safety, we’ll add that she is also surprisingly aggressive, so if you are thinking of exploiting her arachnophobia for a cheap laugh, be aware that she will fucking wreck you for using it for a gag. Physically, emotionally and financially wreck you. She also loves the smell of a warm puppy’s tummy.

Photo credit: wvs from Flickr

I’ve been living out of a hotel in Toronto for the better part of a week now on a business trip. Among the things I miss are home-cooked meals, my own bed, sleep, Cokebaby and Tofu dog. That said, this trip has allowed me to work with my colleagues face-to-face (which is under-valued). Seriously, go give your coworkers a hug today. Well, maybe do it behind HR’s back if you have one of those no-human contact in the workplace rules. Or send a virtual hug.

In any case, the other perk to the prolonged stay due to meetings and conferences is that I’ve been able to meet a number of people I’ve befriended through social media in the books and publishing world. It’s kind of crazy and wonderful to think I can consider someone a friend without ever having met them IRL. It only took me four years to finally meet someone I’ve worked with and communicated with virtually more frequently than some of the people I’ve met in person.

Some highlights from the week: Book Madam & Associates announced the “associates.” Among them are Julie Wilson, Monique Trottier, Ashleigh Gardner, Sean Cranbury, Erin Balser, Nic Boshart and yours truly. We’ll be pointing to smart, savvy projects and people as they pertain to the book and publishing industry. The announcement was followed by an event called Sociable held at The Pour House Irish Pub where I met about a dozen or more people I’ve been conversing with on Twitter for the past two years. All-in-all an amazing event. As @boyreporter put it: “If this building got hit by an asteroid there would be no books in Canada next year…”

If you love books as much as I do, you’ll be happy to hear that BookCamp is coming to Halifax. I’ve been not-so-secretly planning with Ryan Jones, Eric Rountree and Robbie MacGregor to bring the international melding of bookworms and industry people to our fair city. Mark your calendars and save the date: June 5. More details coming soon.

Finally, check me out at the National Post’s Afterword Reading Society where I’ll be joining in on a panel discussion on the wonderful book Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann.

We’re a few days into 2010 already but I thought I’d post about some of the highlights of 2009 in my online world.

It was a pretty busy year.

Cokebaby and I travelled to the South of France for our 10 year wedding anniversary (today marks year 11)! We took a trip with his family in the summer to London and Ireland and got in touch with their roots. And we were treated to an overnight stay in the Peggy’s Cove Area in the fall.

Tofu dog turned two years old.

I was interviewed on Haligonia, did a reading for Seen Reading, wrote guest posts for Geek Girl Camp and Lindsay Olson, recommended a book on Advent Books. And I got to defend werewolves at (un)deathmatch where I’m continuing in Round 3.

Whew! A busy year indeed.

Top posts of 2009

The best kept secret of Halifax sushi restaurants
Bust A Move: Halifax Chicks edition
Tassimo
Pickled think: Beets
The origin of Alias Grace OR Me > Frankenstein’s creature
Cokebaby, the husband
Durty Nelly’s
Hamachi House
No boys allowed
SnauBar Lebanese Cuisine

Top East Coast Guest Posts of 2009
Hello Halifax: You can never go home by Gail Lethbridge
Chef Adam Todd by himself
Green Christmas by Charlene Boyce
Growing up Greek in Nova Scotia by Bessy Nikolaou
Racquel does fashion by Áine (a.k.a. “Racquel Valencia“)
Smart Bites: A little gal’s guide to staying that way over the holidays by Kristen Pickett
Joel Kelly’s guide to dressing sensibly in an office environment by Joel Kelly
Building an eco house? Start saving now by Jeff White
The culinary perspective of an olive thief by Suzie Ridler
Welcome to my ‘hood by Suzanne Hickey

Remember, I’m shaking things up on the blog this year and looking for more of your stories. Interested? E-mail me at kimberly.aliasgrace [at] gmail [dot] com and let’s talk.

Photo credit: Wry&Ginger from Flickr

Wrapping up the “Shopping “Home for the Holidays”” series this week is local Etsy artist Wry & Ginger. As her site says, she makes “seriously funny handmade cards in original designs.” Shortly after dog-sitting Tofu one weekend a few months back, she came out with a new line of cards called “Doxie Love is Peculiar.”

Tofu was so thrilled that he wanted to personally interview Cheryl. So, head on over to the dog blog for the full interview and, while you’re there, enter to win a set of these cards. Contest closes November 27. Full details at Who’s Your Dachshund?

Thanks again to everyone who posted on the site this week. If you missed any, check them out:

Green Christmas by Charlene Boyce

The Bay Hammock Company by Anne Chisholm

Shopping locally: we’re all in the same boat by Heather Rankin

Love, Me Boutique by Chara Kingston

Miss me? Yeah, I know I was supposed to post here a couple more times last week. No, I didn’t think my post about pickled beets was full of so much awesomeness that it would keep you entertained for a week.

So, what’s up?

The long and the short of it: life got busy.

I had a deluge of in-laws descend upon the city all at once from all across the country.

We launched a really cool new books portal at work.

Work is just busy as usual.

I went on a tour of Peggy’s Cove Area with some local bloggers and social media types.

Did I mention the in-laws? (Kidding, love you guys..!)

Will I post about some of this? Maybe. Consider this a post for everything I don’t write more about.

Sorry, but I’m sleepy.

I promise to be prolific very soon. Until then, check out some of the links above. If you’re on Twitter, submit a book review to #cbc140. If you’re on Facebook, consider becoming a fan of the CBC Book Club.

Daily Affirmations by Stuart Smalley

Since starting this blog on New Year’s day of this year, more people are coming out of the woodwork to leave comments here or through other social media channels. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all. I’ve been having lots of fun and I hope you have also. It’s even been my pleasure to meet some of you in real life and have you guest post or simply discuss thoughts here.

That brings me to the point of this post. Taking a cue from the hilarious ladies at Fashionable People, Questionable Things, I’m putting a call out to you, gentle reader, to let me know what you want to see more of here.

Or less of.

What am I writing about that you want more of? What bores you? What am I not writing about that you’d like me to discuss? How often do you really want to see me in your feed reader?

Here are some things to think about (feel free to consider other topics):

• Social media and Twitter
• Cokebaby
• Food
• Books
• Travel (even locally)
• What about Tofu (He appears on the dog blog but I’m always looking for inspiration for what to write about.)

Don’t worry, based on the reviews East Coast Guest Posts will continue, but who or what topic do you want to hear about that pertains to East Coast living?

I’ll be talking to Haligonia about expanding my presence there, likely through discussions with East Coast guests and in video format. But I’m open to what you want to see.

Send me your wish lists. As much as I’m writing this blog to exercise my writing muscles and build pride of place, it’s about you and your East Coast. For those of you reading from across Canada—I know you’re out there because of Google Analytics—what do you want to see more of? Are you ex-pats or are you living vicariously through my transplanted Torontian self? Or maybe you’re just related to me. In which case: hi, sis!

Leave a comment below, e-mail me at kimberly.aliasgrace [at] gmail [dot] com, or DM me on Twitter. The lines are open.

On the dog blog today: the story of Tofu and how he helped me kick my addiction to cats (I know, right?). That’s really all I have to say about that. Visit Who’s Your Dachshund? for the full story and, of course, a cute picture of the pup himself.

Winning me over with sighs and "dachshund eyes"

No, I’m talking about my dog. Well, actually, other people’s dogs. More specifically, Ben‘s dogs who visited for an extended long weekend and subsequently won over my heart despite one of them being sick the whole time.

It makes me wonder, again, if I should add a second dog to our household? Tofu seems to like his space but the bond he has with his brother seems to me a thing of beauty. Can he get that same relationship with another dog? More on this topic over at the dog blog today.

Three's a crowd

On the dog blog today, we look at the relationship between litter mates Tofu and Calvin (who was recently visiting with half-brother Theo).

Besides, pushing each other out of the way in order to get prime spot on my lap (and sometimes posing as each other), these boys have grown up to be best buddies.

More cuteness over at Who’s Your Dachshund?